Survivors: your computer and phone use can be monitored. If this is a concern, we recommend finding a safer (public) computer or phone. Learn more about technology and safety here. For a list of 24/7 resources, visit our Get Help page.
To immediately leave this site, click the Quickly exit site button on the right-hand side of the screen.
To translate this site, choose from the languages below.
Is This Abuse?
Domestic violence is a pattern of destructive behaviors used to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These can include physical, sexual, financial, spiritual, and emotional abuse and reproductive coercion, in addition to threats, intimidation, and actions that cause fear.
Intimate partner violence does not discriminate. People of every age, ethnicity, gender identity, religion, disability, income and education level are impacted, along with those who are married, living together, or dating.
Please be aware that your internet and phone use can be monitored. If there is any chance that your abuser has access to your computer or your phone, we recommend using a safer (public) phone or computer. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
is this abuse?
The following behaviors by a partner are signs that you may be in an unsafe relationship. But remember: you deserve to be safe, you deserve to be respected, and you are not alone. Help is available! Click here to learn more.
Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
Keeps you from seeing family and friends
Keeps you from getting or keeping a job or from attending school
Embarrasses, criticizes, insults, or puts you down
Threatens to “out” you at work or to your family or friends
Controls your money or has accrued debt in your name
Intentionally causes damage to property you’re responsible for
Causes you to be evicted from your housing
Prevents you from having your name on a lease, rental agreement, or mortgage
Physically abuses you or your loved ones (including pets) or threatens to
Threatens to harm or take away your children
Forces you to have sex when you don’t want to or to do things sexually that you’re uncomfortable with
Refuses to use birth control or doesn’t support your decisions around having children
Threatens you based on your immigration status
Domestic violence impacts people in our community regardless of their gender, age, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status. Abusive partners in LGBTQIA+ relationships use the same tactics to gain power and control, but survivors may face more complex barriers in leaving the relationship.
When someone you care about is being abused, it can hard to know how to help. Listening, offering non-judgmental support, and simply saying “I believe you” can have an immense impact.
Remember, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be a very dangerous time. Learn how you can support a loved one from the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or contact our 24-hour hotline at (503) 222-6222 to discuss and explore local resources.
There is absolutely no excuse for abuse. But for those interested in taking full accountability for their actions and making change, help is available. Call 211 or visit 211info.org to search for local resources. The National Domestic Violence Hotline also has resources available for abusive partners.
Martina didn’t realize
how much she’d been living in fear…
until she arrived in shelter six months pregnant. Read about her journey to safety throughout our program.